The Gift of Not Knowing

We spend years honing your knowledge and then too often get addicted to our expertise. But what happens if you cultivate a 'perpetual student' mindset instead? Can it make you a better teacher?

I've just seen a LinkedIn post from a dear friend, an expert in her field, who candidly explored the nervousness you can feel as a group facilitator when you learn that some of your course participants hold greater expertise than yourself on the topic you are leading. I resonated with that feeling. The last time I experienced this was when I shared the results of my research with a group of developmental researchers and practitioners, most of whom had been immersed in the field decades before I joined the party. I was both exhilarated and terrified.

I noticed the fear coming up: what if they think my contribution is insignificant? What if they dismiss it outright? What if the experiential exercise I'll invite them into seems trivial? But then I noticed the excitement and curiosity kicking in! What links will they see between my perspectives and theirs? What might I learn from their feedback? What will emerge from the informed dialogue around this subject when I dive into it with fellow 'nerds' who share my passion for the topic?

Moments like this, where you are reminded of how much you still have to learn are both emotionally challenging and developmentally priceless. They are challenging because they throw you into the vulnerability of facing questions you might not know how to answer, or the fear of being judged as not being 'enough'. They are, at the same time, priceless developmental gifts because that same vulnerability, when faced head on, helps you make peace with perpetually being a work in progress and reminds you that as facilitators (or teachers of any kind) we are in fact, first and foremost, students. It also reminds you that teaching or facilitating are not about you, but about the people in the room.

I believe it is virtually impossible to stand in front of a group and hold more knowledge and wisdom than they collectively hold. Thinking you are the 'expert' and your expertise should go unchallenged is merely an ego trap. Instead, thinking you are there to learn as much as you are there to teach and hold space for others' learning opens up a whole new universe. In this universe, the roles of teacher and student overlap and interchange, turning into an energy of learning that honours every individual's unique knowledge while also reminding us all that or own knowledge is incomplete and that collectively we can know so much more.

I have yet to encounter a group who doesn't open up and generously share when met with humbleness and a beginner's mind. People appreciate their knowledge being genuinely recognised, they are keen to offer what they know and they always are much more humble in learning from each-other when the facilitator models that attitude first.

I often wonder how we define our identity as facilitators. Is it about what we know, or about who we can be in service of others (and our own) learning? I wonder what the right balance is between dilligently investing time and energy to grow our expertise and then holding all we know lightly, being open to learning from every participant we meet in the training room? I also wonder how we might strike that balance… If you too are facilitating or teaching in any capacity, I’d love to learn your perspective.

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