The question came from a teenage boy I didn't know, in a dream. I woke up laughing at the absurdity. Permission to grow up: who can give it to you but yourself? And what does being an adult even mean?
Quite a few years ago, a colleague asked the question, "Why are so many young people reluctant to grow up?" and it has stuck with me. I think there is a conflation of responsibility with blame. I'd love to see the blame piece excised and responsibility become conflated with agency instead. If you aren't willing to take responsibility then someone else has the power to control how your life goes. Almost the definition of what it means to be a child.
Such a beautiful article Alis. One of my jobs included managing a team of seven when I was in my twenties, and everyone on the team was older than me—including a woman in her sixties who had never really had a true manager before. The steps you took here remind me of exactly how I learned to win her and the rest of the team over by building trust.
Much of it is getting to know others as people, their pain points, and becoming an ally. Knowing yourself deeply, your blind spots, and your rough edges is a second important step. Thank you for this wonderful piece!
Wow, thanks for sharing your own experience here, Emmaly. How lucky were we to go through that kind of ‘fire’ so early on in our lives. I’ll forever be grateful!
Thanks Alis, I'll be passing this on to my 25 year old daughter who is stepping up into a leadership role
Quite a few years ago, a colleague asked the question, "Why are so many young people reluctant to grow up?" and it has stuck with me. I think there is a conflation of responsibility with blame. I'd love to see the blame piece excised and responsibility become conflated with agency instead. If you aren't willing to take responsibility then someone else has the power to control how your life goes. Almost the definition of what it means to be a child.
I love this so much, @Pamela! I too think responsibility as agency is at the core of psychological adulthood.
Such a beautiful article Alis. One of my jobs included managing a team of seven when I was in my twenties, and everyone on the team was older than me—including a woman in her sixties who had never really had a true manager before. The steps you took here remind me of exactly how I learned to win her and the rest of the team over by building trust.
Much of it is getting to know others as people, their pain points, and becoming an ally. Knowing yourself deeply, your blind spots, and your rough edges is a second important step. Thank you for this wonderful piece!
Wow, thanks for sharing your own experience here, Emmaly. How lucky were we to go through that kind of ‘fire’ so early on in our lives. I’ll forever be grateful!
Very much agree! I am grateful every day for those who dared to take a chance on me as a young leader. Thank you again for this fantastic piece.
I have to admit, one of my "I'm an adult" moments has been about hosting Christmas. This year I'm on!
No small feat, Leah! I’ve not corssed that milestone yet!